November 30, 2005
Ok, I sat down this morning and made a list in 2 minutes of three things I like and three things I hate about being adopted. I figured whatever came to mind first would be the most honest. You be the judge.
Things I like:
- When surrounded by the crazies in my family, it is somewhat reassuring that I'm at least not genetically predisposed to act like them.
- My mom knows she picked me, and is therefor completely responsible for all the headaches I cause.
- I've always felt that family is the people you choose to love, not just the people you look like. That is awesome.
Things I don't like:
- Wondering if I might accidentally commit incest with my biological brother (I know, I'm a freak, but it could happen).
- The occasional awkwardness of people when they find out. Even now I get "Oh, you don't look anything like your mom," "Well, I wouldn't. I'm adopted." "Oh, I'm so sorry. I had no idea [looks away]." Seriously people. It's not like I told you I've got 6 months to live.
- No knowledge of my biological family's medical history. This is the big one, folks.
There are all kinds of exciting diseases and conditions that I could have, and could pass on to my children without ever knowing it. For all I know every single woman on both sides of my family died at 43 from a heart attack. Who knows what exotic little surprises are lurking around in my DNA. I am fine with not knowing if I smile like my materal grandmother, but I'm not fine not knowing if I should be expecting to get breast cancer from her too. That's why I'm a big ball of worry everytime I go to the doctor. And it's why I'm also a big supporter of the work done by people like Bastard Nation.
Bastard Nation advocates for the civil and human rights of adult citizens who were adopted as children. Millions of North Americans are prohibited by law from accessing personal records that pertain to their historical, genetic and legal identities. Such records are held by their governments in secret and without accountability, due solely to the fact that they were adopted.
Go check them out. The site? Not good. The mission? Very good. Also? It says bastard all over. What's better than that?