then again, maybe not
Closed for business

November 15, 2005

and now for something vaguely different...

I was returning a bag at Filene's yesterday (cutest bag in the world - so of course it broke within a week), and the customer service desk is upstairs by the men's department. As I was waiting for the (extremely stone-faced) woman to help me, I was looking around. I found myself looking at sweaters and ties, and thinking that I was going to spend a million years picking out something to get my grandfather for Christmas, just to see him leave it in the box. Again. And I kind of laughed about it, like I do every year.

But then I remembered that he died, so I'm not going to ever have to do that again. Which got me a little choked up (it's always the silly things...). So I'm standing there in line, trying not to cry and trying not to laugh at the same time. Being a human being is a little nuts I think.

So this woman is looking at me like I'm a total freak who's crying in a store and did something freaky to my bag that broke it. Nice.

The worst part? I'm not there alone, so I have to pull it together to avoid explaining the weepy eyes to my friend who's looking at shoes. On a related topic, I'm a little concerned about this friendship. I think I've found the adult version of all those crappy girls I glommed onto in highschool and college. I find it hard to share how I'm feeling with people, so I used to surround myself with people who were either a mess themselves and therefore unable to worry about me, or martyrs (Hi mom!) who were too put upon to worry about me. I think she's in the second group. Nothing on the level of some of my past prizewinners, but it's there. So damn. You know when you're telling someone something kind of personal, how you're feeling, something that's bugging you, and their response is to say something completely unrelated about them? Happens all the time.

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