then again, maybe not
Closed for business

November 18, 2005

Friday - no random 10 today

Instead, some random thoughts.

I got an email from a friend who didn't know I had this blog until yesterday. He says:

I love reading your voice online. I can hear you in my head because you write exactly the way you speak.

That's not actually a good thing, but I don't care. I'm not trying to be a good writer.
The one surprise is how much you have been talking about abortion. Did you quit your job?

No, I didn't. Nor did I intend to talk about abortion on my blog that much. I mean, I spend most of the day at work thinkging about it in one way or another, so of course it creeps in, but I didn't want this to be all about the politics of choice. My job is all about the politics of choice, this blog is supposed to be an escape from that. Or not.

Here's the thing. I write about whatever I'm thinking about. Sometimes I think about funny things, sometimes I think about serious things. But lately I've just been getting more and more pissed off about the conversations and articles and studies and polls and all the other shit out there about choice.

So yeah. Anyway, speaking of work I'm getting hammered today (but not in a good way). More later. Maybe.

I'll leave you with this, the Vampire Squid from Hell. That's just the kind of day I'm having.

November 17, 2005

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Lots of chatter about this bullshit (oh no, I gave away what I think about it) article, "Roe Fatigue."

I’m just tired of being burdened with defending Roe often to the detriment of so many important things that we who are centrist and to the left of center need to be advocating.

Um. Fuck you.

Now, before you freak out and write hateful comments or worse, send me hateful email, hear me out. For starters, I have always supported a woman’s right to
chose. Always. So hear me out.

Ok. You're clearly a liar, but ok.

And of course, if the Right were honest, they would admit that their opposition to Roe has very little to do with the sanctity human life (see their view of the death penalty – even for minors and the mentally handicapped and their new found love of torture as just a couple examples)


and everything to do with the stretch of the Constitution done by Roe,

Wrong. They don't give a shit about stretching the Constitution, only that it was done to protect the rights of women to make their own decisions.

So, I’m tired of carrying this burden through every Republican presidency. Let them get the benefit of their bargain with the GOP when they voted for Gdub and their R senators by watching Roe overturned. As teenage girls turn-up pregnant all over white suburban high schools these self-described ‘moderates’ voting Republican can learn first hand about the consequences of their votes.

Just think of the political fall-out to the GOP if they orchestrate an overturn of Roe and the windfall to the Democrats.

Yes! Good point. White suburban families will be inconvenienced. Instead of going to Disney World they'll have to send their daughters to out-of-state abortion clinics. Boo hoo. Just think about the stories and pictures of poor women dying around the country. That'll show 'em.

Yes, I know,……we have to keep fighting, but aren’t you tired too?

Tired of sighing weak-willed assholes like you? Yes. Tired of fighting for the right to control my own body? No, not really.

Read Rox Populi, Pandagon, and Alternet's The Mix on this.

November 16, 2005

rent is too damn high here too!

Via the rip-snortingly (I don't care if that's not a word) funny blog Save the Squared Stage, I learned about the best name for a political party ever, the "Rent is Too Damn High" party in New York. Make sure your sound is on so you can hear the theme song.

The best part? Their candidate for mayor came in 4th. I shit you not. Watch you back Bloomberg.

Spending no more than ($50) Fifty Dollars. Even though our candidate did not come in first but our candidate didn’t come in last either compared to some of the well known Political Parties our party came in 4th.

1st) Republican
2nd) Democrat
3rd) Conservative
4th) RENT Is Too Damn High Party (RITDH)
5th) Socialist Workers
6th) Education Party
7th) Libertarian Party
8th) Green Party

Hopefully this party will grow and expand to the DC area. I'd like to see them merge and form the DC for Statehood-Green-Rent is Too Damn High party. They will have my full support. And the longest name ever, which has to be a good thing.

don't tell anyone, but I have a new crush...

Calm down stalkers, it's just a blog crush... for now. Pardon me if I sound like a 12-year-old for a moment.

I am hugely in like with a bitch (what else is new). Who knew a Technorati search for "Cary Tennis + asshat" (hate hate hate that guy) would end this way. So Bitch. Why the love? I think a few samples from her FAQ will make it clear:
Why are you such an incredible bitch?
Everything I do is unbelievable, doll. Everything. I’m an incredible bitch because I expect that everyone else is just as intelligent as I am. It’s not conceitedness. It’s an assumption that most people are of about the same intelligence. So, when I expect you to keep up, it’s because I think highly of you. That’s why bitches are bitches. ‘nuff said.

And this glossary entry from the "Bitch Guide"

FUCKMEDEAD: Fuck me dead. I don’t remember where I picked up this expression. For some reason, I keeping seeing a vision of Morgan Freeman in my head—as if I heard it first from his lips. I doubt it, but there it is: my twisted mind. “Fuck me” or “Fuck me dead” are expressions that stand in for phrases like, “I don’t believe it!” or “Holy cow!”

I can totally see Morgan Freeman in my head saying this. Even though I'm sure Morgan Freeman would never say any such thing. Slightly less (?) offensive than my personal favorite "Christ on a fucking bicycle," a phrase my friend S misheard as "Christ fucking a bicycle," which is even funnier.

Ok, end of slightly disturbing gushing. But if you value your life you'll go directly to Bitch Lab. Or else.


Holy shit. The feeling is mutual?!?!?! This from the Bitch of my dreams:

For some reason, I just don't buy this site which I found via the latest lust object in my bloglife, Thagmano.
That's me, fuckers. That's me. The best part is the post is all about how hetero men need to learn to love their cocks. Just read it.

But before you try to find out where we're registering, know this. That Bitch is fickle. The post before this points to another object of her blog lust who shall remane nameless.

November 15, 2005

ok, now you're pissing me off

As a follow-up to my previous post about Nerve's reproductive right week, they have a quiz about choice-related issues (you have to be a member to take it). Great. Except for one thing.

The second to last question is:
Is it okay to consider abortion a form of birth control...
Hmm, I thought. That phrase "abortion as birth control" doesn't really have any meaning, it's completely subjective, so how can you answer it? Also, we all know we're supposed to think considering "abortion as birth control" is bad. Doesn't it just sound bad?

Wait, no it doesn't. Abortion is ending a pregnancy. Ok. Birth control is avoiding giving birth, thus stopping a pregnancy. Hmm. So abortion is birth control. So how could we think this is a bad thing, if you're pro-choice. And if all abortion is birth control, why are they even asking that question?

Oh, thank goodness there's a parenthetical. I was going to be up all night worrying about this. Nerve clarifies what they mean by "considering abortion as birth control" they mean:
(i.e. to have more than one)
Oh. That's not what it means to me. For more on my irritation about the whole multiple abortion thing, see my other post on this.

And I promise no more posting today. I'm out of control.

Metro bloggers

There's this neat map of DC bloggers by metro stop. I like it.

It will come as no surprise to anyone who knows where I live that most of the bloggers at my metro stop are sweet, smart, and uh... kinda dorky. Shut up. I am not.

The one I did find that seemed interesting was Babylon on the Potomac. Lots of great local news. Pretty crime/law focused if you're into that sort of thing. And I am. Check it out chickadees.

he will be mine. oh yes, he will be mine.

I'm such an ass. I completely forgot to tell everyone in the entire world to watch The Boondocks. Everyone I know already reads the comic strip, but you should watch the show too. The last episode, "The Trial of R Kelly" was, of course, hilarious and thought-provoking.

Aside from the actual trial, which was great, I loved the scenes with Granddad and Ucle Ruckus. And I must say, I'm a little surprised they can get away with some of this stuff, even on Adult Swim.

There is one tiny little thing I'm not loving about the show. Regina King. Wait. I like her. But I find her voice as both of the boys to be distracting. Her Huey is exactly the same as her regular voice. She does a little something more with Riley, but often falls out of it and just sounds like herself saying things. A little annoying. I'm all for a woman being the voice of boy children, but it needs a little work.

And if anyone sees Aaron McGruder, can you please please please ask him to call me? And shut up. I am not stalking him. Right now.

giggle. snort.

Since I've been sad and angry today, I thought I'd go for a mood trifecta and show you something that made me laugh. The only thing I hate more than hippies (I know, EVERYONE hates hippies) is hipsters (I know everyone hates them too - I'm not trying to be original here, let me get to the funny. Geez).

Anyway, as I was saying... Do you remember Hipster Bingo? Now there's the Hipster Tee Shirt Generator.

Here are a few funny ones I got.

Via Best Week Ever

Why why why don't we get it?

Nerve is featuring a "reproductive rights issue" now. Sweet? Uh, kind of. They've got an interesting interview with Susan Wood, formerly of the FDA's Office of Women's Health, who resigned over the Plan B over-the-counter carnival of assholiness. Two of the other articles are a bit more troubling.

I definitely recommend reading Jennifer Baumgardner's piece about the stigma of having multiple abortions.

Dauntless radical though she is, there is a part of her abortion story she rarely tells. A year after her 1971 procedure, Marion got pregnant again. This
time she didn't have to worry about the money. Her new boyfriend pulled out his checkbook and put her on the next flight — and she knew it was the right decision. "But it was a much harder [abortion] for me personally. I felt I shouldn't let myself get pregnant," says Marion, now fifty-two. "Even to this day, I have shame about it. An accomplished, consciousness-raised feminist like me!"
Baumgardner goes on to talk about why having multiple abortions is percieved as such a bad thing, when as her father says:

It's odd, given that it's the exact same situation as before, no more or less of a life," […] "It's as if women don't really believe they have the right to have abortions."

Odd indeed.

According to Planned Parenthood, two out of every 100 women aged fifteen to forty-four will have an abortion this year and half of them will have had at least one abortion previously. Yet virtually everyone I've talked to about multiple abortions said she shouldn't have let it happen again, implying it was her fault.
Why is that? I think there are two reasons. First, people (pro-choice, anti-choice, whatever) are judgemental. We "generously" allow a woman a single mistake of getting pregnant and having an abortion. But if it happens again, she's a dirty slut. And second, pro-choice people have let the anti-woman right change our minds. We've internalized that abortion is wrong. Even if it's not killing a baby, it's still bad. Hmm. Tastes like Kool-Aid… no thanks, I don't want any.

Multiple abortions may make you uncomfortable, but that's your problem. The reality is this:

"You have 300 possibilities to get pregnant in your life," says Peg Johnston, the director of an abortion clinic in Binghamton, New York. "A one percent
failure rate — assuming the best possible use of contraception — is still thr ee abortions," she says. "In what endeavor is a one percent failure rate not acceptable?"

Peg Johnston, the clinician, thinks multiple abortions points to something larger than an individual snafu — occasionally that larger thing is carelessness, but usually in the context of a life out of control in other ways. Often it's a woman who has several children already and a chaotic, stressful life. At around $30 a month for the pill, others can't afford their birth control. "That's very common," says Johnston, noting that a majority of the forty-five million uninsured in this country are women. Meanwhile, "some people are really fertile and others simply have lots and lots of sex. Frankly, if you have a lot of sex, you'll get pregnant more often."
Then there's Ada Calhoun's "brave" admission that she's pro-choice, but thinks 2nd trimester abortion is wrong. I'll admit, I was intrigued. But the article was nothing new or interesting. It was the same old shit that women deal with all the time. She tells the story of a friend of a friend who stayed at her house while getting an abortion. Young Calhoun was fine with it because she and her mother were pro-choice. Ahem. Upon finding out that the girl was further along than they expected, she and her mother were upset.

My mother and I weren't being as comforting as we could be. But then I saw Andrea in the living room, flipping through magazines and joking with her friend, her stomach pushing past her unbuttoned jeans, and all the disapproval came rushing back. This is what I had shouted for at all those demonstrations? This girl, chain smoking and doing her nails and seemingly fine with her decision? Steve's right not to interrupt his busy pot-smoking schedule to take care of a baby that was only four months from being born?
Now, she was young, and everyone knows how much of an asshole even the best teenager could be. So let's more forward in time.

I've never said this out loud before, that I have such reluctance about abortion past a certain point — which in my case is definitely before Andrea's five
months, when the fetus kicks, has a heartbeat, and sucks its thumb. Being pro-choice with reservations is taboo. It is to wrestle with guilt and doubt and feel that you must be silent. And I understand why.
Wha? No it isn't. There's nothing taboo about being pro-choice with reservations. That's the whole point of being pro-choice. You do what's right for you, and I do what's right for me. That's more Kool-Aid drinking to say that if you're not for "abortion on demand and without apology", you're an outsider. As much as I think it's bullshit, most pro-choice people have varied and numerous caveats to their position. Most of them only apply to other people's choices, but such is life.

But I do wonder if maybe we pro-choice advocates aren't more conflicted than we let on, and therefore if maybe pro-life advocates aren't as well. Maybe the deal is that pro-choicers have to say, "Allow abortion up until the ninth month! Free
and on every corner!" And pro-lifers have to say, "We can never, ever allow it, even in cases of rape and incest, even if the mother might die!" That way, we meet in an awkward demilitarized zone, the first trimester, with restrictions and obstacles that hurt the poor and the young. And so we fight back and forth and make it easier this month and harder the next, so everyone's almost okay with the way things are, but no one really is.
Well, that's a very moving close to the article, but it's a load of crap. The entire fucking point of the reproductive rights movement is that how you feel about my choices is meaningless. And how I feel about yours are as well. As much as some people want to bring anti and pro-choice people together, there really is no common ground. It's not about finding something that anyone is "okay with." Either you have the right to choose what to do with your body or you don't.

My overall problem with these articles? We have to have to have to wake up. By letting anti-choice people take the moral high ground, we're always going to end up sinking in the quicksand below. Choice is choice. We can go on forever about the details, but can't lose sight of the larger picture.

and now for something vaguely different...

I was returning a bag at Filene's yesterday (cutest bag in the world - so of course it broke within a week), and the customer service desk is upstairs by the men's department. As I was waiting for the (extremely stone-faced) woman to help me, I was looking around. I found myself looking at sweaters and ties, and thinking that I was going to spend a million years picking out something to get my grandfather for Christmas, just to see him leave it in the box. Again. And I kind of laughed about it, like I do every year.

But then I remembered that he died, so I'm not going to ever have to do that again. Which got me a little choked up (it's always the silly things...). So I'm standing there in line, trying not to cry and trying not to laugh at the same time. Being a human being is a little nuts I think.

So this woman is looking at me like I'm a total freak who's crying in a store and did something freaky to my bag that broke it. Nice.

The worst part? I'm not there alone, so I have to pull it together to avoid explaining the weepy eyes to my friend who's looking at shoes. On a related topic, I'm a little concerned about this friendship. I think I've found the adult version of all those crappy girls I glommed onto in highschool and college. I find it hard to share how I'm feeling with people, so I used to surround myself with people who were either a mess themselves and therefore unable to worry about me, or martyrs (Hi mom!) who were too put upon to worry about me. I think she's in the second group. Nothing on the level of some of my past prizewinners, but it's there. So damn. You know when you're telling someone something kind of personal, how you're feeling, something that's bugging you, and their response is to say something completely unrelated about them? Happens all the time.