then again, maybe not
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January 19, 2006

From the mouths of bitches (well, one in particular)

Just go read this whole post, and then come back. I'd have to quote every word to get you to understand, so just go read it. Go ahead. I'll wait. La la la la la. Ok, great. Wow, right?

Here's the problem with this whole sex positive feminism is uncle tomming for the patriarchy theory. It's completely out of touch with reality. Women have bodies. We live in them. They are what they are. Women also have sex. Varying amounts, sometimes by choice and some not. Women also have sexual desire, which also varies in every women and between us all. Some women like to "use" their sexuality. See? Why do we automatically think of that as a bad thing? I use my brains, I use my money, I use my sense of humor (sorry about that). For me, being a feminist means opening doors to whatever women want to do with their lives, which includes their bodies. If you never want to have penetrative sex because you think it's oppressive, great. But back up off me because I like cock. It doesn't mean I'm contributing to the oppression of womankind, or that I've internalized the patriarchy (although, I am going to start calling sex "internalizing the partirachy" because that's kind of hot).

Here's the point, kids. Sex is not the only thing that defines me. It's one of a million things.

Bitch says

Would you take a fellow feminist seriously if she was dressed in a g-string. You know? Something cheesy and slutty? Would you? Would you think she’s intelligent. Would you think you should listen to her?

That’s a serious question. Because, quite frankly, what I read is a sneering contempt for anyone who atually has such garments in their drawers. And where does that contempt come from? Is there something in the boa or the sleazy bodice and peek-a-boo panties that tells you that she’s clearly a dumb ass who’s not worth listening to?

[…]

Sex positive feminism has very little to do with believing
that you are liberated through sex and sex alone. Rather, it began as a critique
of the way in which both the wider society and feminist communities regulated
sex by claiming that, to be a “real woman/feminist” you could only engage in
certain kinds of sex.


Yes indeed. It confuses and saddens me when awesome feminist women I know treat sexuality like something men have and impose on women. Like there are rules. In order to be a good feminist you have to like this kind of sex this much. Isn't it just as insulting to say a woman can't be smart and capable because she wears "sexy" clothes as it is to say a woman can't be those things because she's a woman? I think it is. I agree that women shouldn't be forced to wear or behave in any way to please men. But she she shouldn't avoid dressing or acting in any way to make other women comfortable either.

And

Finally, there is a very important disagreement between various camps about what objectification even is




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