then again, maybe not
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February 24, 2006

Blast from my past

Just found this, from years ago, via Archive.org. No, no link for you. It's what I wrote after discovering new information about my biological family. I was floored.
Joane Grant. That was me. For a few months anyway.

Who knew a weekend at home would turn my brain to jello?!?!?!

There are two people out there with the same genes as me that I never knew about. My brother and my sister. What a concept. I can't believe my mom never told me that my biological parents had 2 kids before me. And I really can't believe she just let me discover it on a random saturday afternoon.

It's weird, knowing more info (nonidentifying of course) about my biological parents really wasn't that interesting. I mean, it didn't really make me want to go out and find them or anything. But knowing that I have a brother and a sister. That's a strong kick in the head. When I was born my brother was 7. that means he's 30 now, and probably remembers his mother being pregnant with me. I wonder what she told him. My sister was only 2. My sister. My sister.

So, this is 3 days later, and I'm still very freaked out. Talked to D on Sat. night. He was sweet, as usual. Finally got to talk to B last night. I can't believe she's in Scotland
now. I am really in need of best friend hugging and drinking. When I told her
she cried. If I'd known that would be her reaction I probably wouldn't have told
her. But it was good. She cried, which let me cry. Exactly what I needed.

I can't really express how I'm feeling about this yet. Right now it's just like a weight on my chest.
That was four years ago. Can't say I've got deeper or more processed thoughts about this. It still makes my heart hurt.




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