then again, maybe not
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February 23, 2006

Not a sex blog

Got a call last night from an ex of mine who was reading some sex blog, and thought I might be its author. Wouldn't tell me what the site was, but I plan to try and find it. Now, ok, I get why I'm the girl you call with reproductive, prostitution-related, and happy hour questions. But unless he was leaving out something specific that he read, it could have been any of the many many women he's dated in the past couple of years. And yet, I get this on my voicemail:

"Hey [thagmano]. Give me a call tonight if you get a chance. No emergency, I
just found a blog that I thought might be yours. Did you write about our sex
life? That time we [redacted for my sensitive readers]? I’m not mad. Just
wondering."

Of course I had to return that call. Wow. Here's the thing. The aforementioned activity wasn't anything crazy. If they'd written about some crazy-ass man-on-dog-on-woman-in-Jello-on-airplane-with-watermelons action, I can understand thinking it might be about you. But everyone has sex in the garden of the National Cathedral. That's what it's there for. Oh oops. Sorry. Don't do that, kids, it's trespassing and wrong.

[7 hours goes by]

Now that I'm back writing this post, the saga continues. I met this guy last week that I like. Not a huge, all-consuming bitch kind of crush, but I'm kind of into him. Apparently in my drugged out haze last weekend (hurt my back, not fun drugs) I mentioned that I have a blog and told him the name of it. So he Googled thagmano, and what a surprise - he found me! So, uh, "Hi!" That IM conversation went something like this:

He: "You blog anonymously, I'm surprised."
Me: "Well, it's more of a work-sensitivity thing than not wanting people to know who I am"
He: "That makes sense. Are you going to talk about me on your blog."
Me: "No." [escept when I do]
He: "Ok. You talked a lot less about abortion and a lot more about porn when I met you."
Me: "Visit the archives."
He: "I did. You talk about 'porn' a lot, but not in such graphic detail as in person."
Me: "I talk about a lot of things in graphic detail when I've been drinking and taking
pain killers. I rarely blog drunk."
He: "You should, I bet it would be funny."
Me: "That's why I don't. I go for minimal entertainment on my blog… as you have seen."
He: "LOL"
Me: "Don't LOL at me."


And later…

He: "I saw that your grandfather died last year. Mine did too."
He: "That was random and insensitive - wasn't it? I'm sorry."
Me: "No worries."
He: "What's your next entry going to be about?"
Me: "Uh… this conversation. Partially."
He: "I'm a star! Go me!"
Me: "Uh, like 5 people read my blog. No fame to be had"
The point? I don't have a sex blog. Don't want one. But I do read them. Not so much the porn-tastic ones. I'll post some links later of my favorites. I think I've mentioned before that only a few people I know in real life know about the blog. Older versions have been mostly visited by friends, and I found myself talking to them too much, and not feeling comfortable discussing whatever random bullshit came to mind, so I stopped that. So I wonder… of all the anonymous bloggers out there… do your friends know?

Can you tell I'm in a scattered mood? I've been writing this all day, so I'm careening off in many directions.

I was talking to some friends the other night, who all happened to be dating (and married to) bartenders. The topic, of course, was if bartenders are better in bed than mere mortals. Since I (shockingly, if you think about where I spend all my time) have never slept with one, I was intrigued. Consensus seemed to be that they are better, but it might be because they're more likely to be sober at the end of the night, and you're likely to be drunker. Eyes peeled now. Eyes peeled. Maybe I could start a sex blog about bartenders.




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